Sex and the Saudi


‘‘Hi, you look beautiful

’’ She thanked me, and I handed her a piece of paper with my number on it

‘‘We should talk more,’’ I told her

‘‘I’m interested in you

’’ Then I left immediately

We started talking on the phone for hours every day

Her name was Samar

She was 18, pretty and slender, with long black hair and light brown skin

About a week later, when my parents went to Turkey for the weekend, we had a safe place to meet

She told her parents that she was going shopping

I picked her up at a mall and drove her to my house

Dating is complicated in Saudi Arabia

You have to be careful just talking to a woman, because if someone finds out, it can be a really big problem

So it’s better not to tell anybody

If you want to go to a cafe with her, you totally can’t

The police might stop you and ask, ‘‘Who’s that?’’ If you say she is your sister, they ask for proof

If they find out she isn’t your sister, they will take you to the police station

If you are found guilty of khilwa — when a man and woman who are not family members are together alone — you can go to jail for a few months

You can also be lashed 100 times

Sometimes you’re told that you have to marry the woman

That way you might not have to go to jail

When we arrived at my house, I gave her flowers

As a young Saudi guy, I was not used to being alone with a girl

(before Samar, it had happened only a few times

) I didn’t know what to talk about or how to act, so I started showing her my PC and my Xbox, that kind of stuff

She wasn’t a serious gamer, but she played video games

I liked that she could speak English, and we liked the same music

The girls I’d met before had been scared of sex

This time was different

I felt she wanted to do something because she kissed me first

We were sitting on the couch in my living room, staring at each other

She got closer to me, and that was it

After kissing for a while, I said,  ‘‘I’m not comfortable here on the couch

Why don’t we go to my room?’’ Thankfully, it worked out O

K

It was the first time for me, but I knew what to do

How? Every single young Saudi guy watches porn

I’m not joking

I mean all of them

Afterward, I told her that it was my first time

She said she didn’t believe me

I didn’t want to say I learned everything from porn, but she probably guessed

This kind of thing goes on a lot in private in my country

There are young people who have sex before marriage, drink or use drugs and don’t care about religion

I grew up with religion all around me, and I’m still Muslim, but I don’t believe that Islam is like this

Sure, we broke the law, but I didn’t feel guilty

I was actually happy, as if I could do this every day

I was like,  ‘‘Screw the police

I don’t give a damn

’’ She felt the same way

She hated the police, too

It really sucks to live in a place where it’s against the law to fall in love

We agreed that the society we lived in was wrong about this

It’s just wrong, it’s super wrong

That’s why we did whatever we liked

Many young men and women in Saudi Arabia have to live a double life

We lay in bed for a while, and then we got really hungry

It was evening

We went to the kitchen, and she cooked steak for me

Then her father called, asking her where she was, because it was getting late

She said she was still at the mall and would come right home

She was really scared that her family had found out she was with me

I dropped her off near her home and told her to call me later to tell me what happened with her parents

But she didn’t call

I was really worried

I thought she was caught

I was like,  ‘‘I’m busted, I’m so busted

’’ The next morning, she finally sent me a message saying everything was O

K

and they didn’t know

We met a lot after that, when my parents went away on weekends, and talked a lot on the phone

She was my first real girlfriend and my first love

She said I was hers

We had that kind of conversation

She said she really loved me

We talked about marriage a few times

About a year later, I did something really stupid

I met another girl

I just saw her once, but Samar found out when she looked at my phone

‘‘I was wrong,’’ I told her

‘‘It was a mistake

I’m not going to do it again

’’ But she broke up with me

Since then, I’ve met other girls

But when I went out with them, I didn’t feel the same way

I felt good, O

K

, but not as good as with Samar

I thought she was the perfect one for me

But it was too late, and she was gone

This post originally appeared here



Date:22-Jan-2016 Reference:View Original Link