‘‘Hi, you look beautiful
’’ She thanked me, and I handed her a piece of paper with my number on it
‘‘We should talk more,’’ I told her
‘‘I’m interested in you
’’ Then I left immediately
We started talking on the phone for hours every day
Her name was Samar
She was 18, pretty and slender, with long black hair and light brown skin
About a week later, when my parents went to Turkey for the weekend, we had a safe place to meet
She told her parents that she was going shopping
I picked her up at a mall and drove her to my house
Dating is complicated in Saudi Arabia
You have to be careful just talking to a woman, because if someone finds out, it can be a really big problem
So it’s better not to tell anybody
If you want to go to a cafe with her, you totally can’t
The police might stop you and ask, ‘‘Who’s that?’’ If you say she is your sister, they ask for proof
If they find out she isn’t your sister, they will take you to the police station
If you are found guilty of khilwa — when a man and woman who are not family members are together alone — you can go to jail for a few months
You can also be lashed 100 times
Sometimes you’re told that you have to marry the woman
That way you might not have to go to jail
When we arrived at my house, I gave her flowers
As a young Saudi guy, I was not used to being alone with a girl
(before Samar, it had happened only a few times
) I didn’t know what to talk about or how to act, so I started showing her my PC and my Xbox, that kind of stuff
She wasn’t a serious gamer, but she played video games
I liked that she could speak English, and we liked the same music
The girls I’d met before had been scared of sex
This time was different
I felt she wanted to do something because she kissed me first
We were sitting on the couch in my living room, staring at each other
She got closer to me, and that was it
After kissing for a while, I said, ‘‘I’m not comfortable here on the couch
Why don’t we go to my room?’’ Thankfully, it worked out O
K
It was the first time for me, but I knew what to do
How? Every single young Saudi guy watches porn
I’m not joking
I mean all of them
Afterward, I told her that it was my first time
She said she didn’t believe me
I didn’t want to say I learned everything from porn, but she probably guessed
This kind of thing goes on a lot in private in my country
There are young people who have sex before marriage, drink or use drugs and don’t care about religion
I grew up with religion all around me, and I’m still Muslim, but I don’t believe that Islam is like this
Sure, we broke the law, but I didn’t feel guilty
I was actually happy, as if I could do this every day
I was like, ‘‘Screw the police
I don’t give a damn
’’ She felt the same way
She hated the police, too
It really sucks to live in a place where it’s against the law to fall in love
We agreed that the society we lived in was wrong about this
It’s just wrong, it’s super wrong
That’s why we did whatever we liked
Many young men and women in Saudi Arabia have to live a double life
We lay in bed for a while, and then we got really hungry
It was evening
We went to the kitchen, and she cooked steak for me
Then her father called, asking her where she was, because it was getting late
She said she was still at the mall and would come right home
She was really scared that her family had found out she was with me
I dropped her off near her home and told her to call me later to tell me what happened with her parents
But she didn’t call
I was really worried
I thought she was caught
I was like, ‘‘I’m busted, I’m so busted
’’ The next morning, she finally sent me a message saying everything was O
K
and they didn’t know
We met a lot after that, when my parents went away on weekends, and talked a lot on the phone
She was my first real girlfriend and my first love
She said I was hers
We had that kind of conversation
She said she really loved me
We talked about marriage a few times
About a year later, I did something really stupid
I met another girl
I just saw her once, but Samar found out when she looked at my phone
‘‘I was wrong,’’ I told her
‘‘It was a mistake
I’m not going to do it again
’’ But she broke up with me
Since then, I’ve met other girls
But when I went out with them, I didn’t feel the same way
I felt good, O
K
, but not as good as with Samar
I thought she was the perfect one for me
But it was too late, and she was gone
This post originally appeared here
Date: | 22-Jan-2016 | Reference: | View Original Link |
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